Restless

Restless. Feeling of being bored, agitated. You can feel restless without knowing what it is that you’re feeling restless about. I have things to do, I have some time to waste, I am restless.

I know I should run, I want to, I don’t want to. 

The description- restless sea. Perpetual agitation. Does that work? If something is perpetually restless, is it still restless? For me, restlessness implies a desire for something, a longing, a wanting…even if sometimes you are not entirely sure what it is that you are searching for.

Running is an activity for the restless as it embodies constant motion, potentiality. It can soothe an agitated soul, fill a gap, be a friend, you can suffer safely, I understand the parameters.

If I want the door to turn, the hinges must stay put.

My life consists in my being content to accept many things.

 LW, On Certainty 

The house is so cold and I wondered if I’d feel warmer running around outside. I reached down to pull my slipper on and flinched at how freezing my hand was. I could have lit the stove but that would mean chopping kindling (a no no for me, too clumsy), the heater packed in last night…it sighed and gave up, hot water bottle? Already had my 3rd for the day, another coffee? Maybe not.

So I stepped outside into the grey and the wind and the rain. I still had a list of things that I should have been doing but I couldn’t face them. I hoped a little run and some fresh air might just snap me out of my restless feeling by allowing me to live it for a short while. 

  
6.2 restless miles. 

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